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In Loving Memory of Vic

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Step Five

Step Five

“We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”

Now that we have completed our written inventory, it is essential that we share it promptly. The sooner we work our Next word Fifth Step, the stronger the foundation of our recovery will be. We built this foundation on spiritual principles such as surrender, honesty, trust, faith, willingness, encourage; with each step forward in our recovery, we strengthen our commitment to these principles. We reaffirm our commitment to recovery by immediately working Step Five.

Despite her desire to recover, we may find that were feeling frightened at this point. This fear is only natural. After all were about to confront the exact nature of our wrongs, candidly admitting our secrets to God, to ourselves, and to another human being. If we allow our feelings of shame or our fears of change and rejection to stop our process, our problems will only be compounded. If we don’t move forward in our recovery, if we cease making every possible effort to recover, we will have given in to the disease of addiction.

We must overcome our fear and worked the Fifth Step if we are to make any significant changes in the way we live. We gather our courage and go on. We may call our sponsor for reassurance. Usually, a reminder that we don’t have to face our feelings alone makes all the difference in easing our fears. Working this step with the support of our sponsor and a loving God is a way of putting into practice our decision to allow God to care for her will and our lives. That decision, like most decisions we make, must be followed with action. Following our Third Step decision with the action of the Fourth and Fifth Step will lead to a closer relationship with our Higher Power.

Our understanding of the spiritual principles we have practiced in the first four steps will be enhanced by work and that Fifth Step. We experienced honesty by make an admission, just as we did in Step One, but we experience it on a deeper level. The admission we are about to make to ourselves in Step Five is especially important. Not only do we open up and tell the truth about ourselves, we also hear this admission from our own lips, breaking the pattern of denial that has plagued us for so long. We find new levels of honesty, especially self honesty, when we squarely face the results of our diction and see the reality of our lives. The risk we take in the step increases our trust in God and urges the faith and hope we first experience in Step Two. We take our willingness a step further thereby rendering the decision we made in Step Three. We draw on the courage we acquired in Step For and find that we are far more brave than we ever dreamed possible. This bravery is demonstrated not bar a lack of fear by the action we take in spite of our fear. We set a time to share our inventory, and we show up and share at the scheduled time.

Another action which requires courage is our mission to ourselves. We need to focus particular attention on this aspect of the Fifth Step. If we don’t, we may find the benefits we derived from the step are not as meaningful as they would have been. As our Basic Text states, “Step Five is not simply a reading of Step Four.” We want to make sure we are acknowledging and accepting the exact nature of our wrongs. We can even formalize this admission to ourselves if we think it will help. However, the manner in which we’d make this admission to ourselves is not as important as the action itself. We gain a new understanding of the principle of humility as we work this step. We’ve most likely been under the impression that we were somehow bigger or more visible than other people. Through working the Fifth Step, we find that few of our actions deserved exaggerated attention. Through our self-disclosure, we feel connected with humanity, perhaps for the first time.

As we share our most personal fillings and are most carefully guarded secrets, we make experienced anguish. However, many of us have looked up and seeing unconditional love in the eyes of the person hearing our Fifth Step. The fillings of acceptance and belonging we experienced at that moment helped us to feel a part of the program.

The knowledge that we are about to face fillings we have long avoided may cause a rise in our anxiety level, but we go on, encouraged by our sponsor to trust the God of our understanding. The first thing we must realize is that the Fifth Step is not a quick fix for a painful situation. If we work this step expecting our fillings to go away, we are expecting the steps to numb us the way drugs did. We review our first four steps and see that their purpose is to awaken our spirits, not dead in our fillings. We will need support and understanding to cope with our fillings. If we choose an understanding individual to make our commissions to, we will have all the support we need.

Although there is no requirement that the listener must be our sponsor, most of us choose to share our inventory with him or her. By doing so, we are most likely to benefit from the full range of experience another recovering addict has to share. After all, who can better understand what we are tempting than those who have done it for themselves? Ad takes more experienced in recovery than we are will already have dealt with their matters we are just beginning to face. Such people can share with us their experience and the solutions that they have found to work in the step. The bond we share with our sponsor will strengthen our connection with the program and increase her sensible longing.

The person who listens to our Fifth Step should be someone who understands the process of recovery we are involved in and someone who is willing to help us through it. We have found that an ideal listener will have enough compassion to honor our fillings, enough integrity to respect our confidence, and enough insight to help us keep the exact nature of our wrongs within our field of vision. Knowing that we are sharing our inventory, she or he will help us to avoid getting sidetracked by blaming others for the things we’ve written about in our Fourth Step.

Although we know we are going to do the ride meaningful benefits from work in the step, we may still need to take a moment of reaffirming our surrender in the decision we made in the Third Step. We can ask a Power greater than ourselves for the honesty, courage, and willingness to work this step. To them by God into this process, we may want to say a prayer. The prayer can be anything that reaffirms our commitment to recovery. Praying with the person hearing our Fifth Step can be a profound intimate experience.

Not only do we prayed to ask for strength and courage, many of us also ask our Higher Power to listen as we may guard mission. Why is it so important that we also make our admission to God? Because this is a spiritual program, and our whole purpose is to awaken spiritually our willingness to approach our gap higher Power with our past and who we are is central to our recovery. In the past, some of us felt that we weren’t worthy of a relationship with God. Our secrets blocked our ability to feel an acceptance and love from that Power. When we reveal something about ourselves, we draw closer to our Higher Power and experience the unconditional love and acceptance which springs from that Power. The feeling that the God of our understanding accepts us, no matter what we’ve done, and enhances our acceptance of ourselves. The positive relationship where building with a Higher Power carries over into our relationships with others as well.

We may be surprised by the intensity of the partnership with our development with our sponsor as we share our inventory. If we’ve never really been listening before, we may be startled to discover that we are being asked questions about some fine points of our personal history or that our sponsor is jotting down notes while we share. Our self-esteem increases as we realize that what we have to share is worth such close attention. We may seed deep compassion and our listener’s eyes, showing us that our pain is understood. That compassion is one more assurance of the presence of a Power greater than ourselves.

Looking at and sharing that exact natures of our wrongs is not likely to be a comfortable activity. We have looked back and seeing how repeating the same patterns over and over again has kept us stuck in the same place. And we haven’t just seeing the surface behavior; we’ve seen the defects of character that have been behind our behavior all along. We start to realize that there is a difference between our actions and the exact nature of our wrongs. Per instance, we may see example after example of situations where we lied to in a vain attempt to make everyone liked us. But those examples aren’t the nature of our wrongs. The nature of the wrongs is the dishonesty and manipulation we were demonstrating each time we lied. If we look beyond the dishonesty and manipulation, will most likely find that we are afraid no one would like us if we told the truth.

As we share our inventory, our sponsor will sometimes share some of his or her own experience with us. Our sponsor may cry with us or smile and recognition at some of the struggles we are now sharing. We may laugh together as we share some of the more comical aspects of our diction and the ridiculous lies we told ourselves so that we could continue to live as we were living. As we see how similar our fillings are to our sponsor’s fillings, we realize that there are other people like us. We’re human being, nothing more, nothing less. Our self-obsession blinded us to this, making us feel unique. Suddenly we understand that other people, to, have painful problems and that our us are no more significant than anyone else’s. Filling can take place when we see a glimpse of ourselves in the eyes of another. We find new melody in that moment and a reason to hope that the serenity and peace we have been striving for our within our reach at last.

Our fillings are alienation fade as we experience an emotional connection with another human being. We are allowing someone entry to those places we’ve never before opened to another person. This may be the first time we’ve ever trusted another person enough to tell her or him about ourselves and allow that person to get to know us. We may be surprised at the closeness that develops between us and our sponsor. We’re developing a give-and -take relationship based on a quill it he and mutual respect, the kind that we can last for a lifetime.

After work and our fist step, we may fill little raw up or emotionally vulnerable. We’ve taken of major step in the healing process of recovery. This process could be thought of as “surgery on the spirit”. We’ve “loans. We’ve exposed our most carefully constructed lies for the deceptions they were common and we told ourselves and painful truths. We dropped our mask in the presence of another person.

At this point, we may experience a dangerous urge to run from our new awareness and return to the familiar misery of the past. We may feel tempted to avoid our sponsor because he or she knows all about us now. It is very important that we resist such impulses. We must talk with other recovering addicts about our fears and billing so we can hear the experience they have been share. We’ll find out what were gone through is not unique and feel relieved when others tell us they went through the very same struggles after they worked their Fifth Step.

Our awareness of our patterns of relating with others and the risks we have just taken in admitting them to another brain about a momentous breakthrough in our relationships. Not only do we form a close bond with our sponsor, but the risk we take and trusting this person will help us develop a close relationship with others as well. We risk trusting one person with our secrets and our feelings, and we haven’t been rejected. We began to have the freedom to trust others. Not only do we find out that others are trustworthy and deserve our friendship, we find that we are also trustworthy and deserving. We may have thought we were incapable of loving or BN loved or even having friends. We discovered that these bit believes were unfounded. We learned, from the example of our sponsor, how to be a more caring friend.

Our relationships begin to change after this step, including the one we are having with the God of our understanding. Throughout the process of the Fifth Step, we turned to the Power when we were fearful, and we received the carriage we needed to complete this step. Our belief that our faith grew as a result. Because of this, were willing to put more of ourselves into building a relationship with God. Just like any other relationship, the one we develop with our Hire Power calls for open-mindedness and trust on our part. When we share our most personal thoughts and feelings with our Hire Power, leading down her walls in admitting we are less than perfect, intimacy develops. We develop a certainty that our Higher Power is always with us and that we are being cared for.

The process we have undertaken so far has made us aware that the exact nature of our wrongs. The exact nature of those wrongs is her character defects. We know now that these patterns of our lives were rooted in dishonesty, fear, selfishness, and many other defects of character. We had seen the whole spectrum of our defects and are ready for something new. With this readiness, we move on to the Step Six.

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